One day, I

1.  The way I can turn from happy to angry to depressed to self-loathing all within one day really scares me.  It literally takes minutes for me to switch moods.

2.  I envy people who have it all figured out for themselves, but not as much as I envy those who haven’t figured it all out and are doing just fine.  

3.  My head’s spinning, literally.  I’ve been refusing to get a new pair of glasses, but I don’t really know why.  It’s not like being sans-eyeglasses makes me look less like a dork.

4.  People may think I’m deep and shit, just because I think of things.  I would love to do them justice, but I can’t help it if most of the time, my thoughts run from shallow to, well, shallower.  In a lot of ways, I’m still the little high school girl who went home from the prom, crying her eyes out because nobody asked her to dance.  I was sad because I couldn’t be prettier, despite the fact that I was also wearing a stupid fancy dress.  I was angry with myself because it mattered, and I didn’t want it to matter.  Most of the time, I suppose, this self-loathing I indulge in is borne out of caring for things that I don’t really want to care about.